Almost as a wink-and-nod to EGM’s Seanbaby, I thought it would be worth taking a look at some of the crappiest game concepts coming out this holiday season. If you haven’t taken a look at the list of garbage coming down the pipeline between now and this year’s high holy days, you need to. Now that all the “best” games are out, all the crap seems to want to ride the wave behind them; but I don’t think Left 4 Dead, Gears of War 2, and Fallout 3 can even save these train wrecks’ assuming terrible sales.  In no particular order (because they all look equally bad, except for maybe the first one…that’s just pathetic), I offer you the 5 crappiest looking games of the holiday season. And you want to know what’s the worst part of it? They’re all Wii games:

Safecracker

“As an expert safecracker, you are hired by the wealthy family of a recently deceased billionaire to search for the last will and testament of their late relative, Duncan W. Adams. An avid safe collector and an “eccentric” to say the least, Adams has hidden the deed to his riches in one of the 35 safes scattered in his extravagant mansion. The stakes are high. Use your expertise, wits, and puzzle-solving skills to crack them all and earn your pay check!”

Guinness Book of World Records

“Guinness World Records: The Videogame is full of amazing world records, giving players the opportunity to become a real world record breaker! The game’s quick-fire action challenges can be played solo, in teams, or in competitive multi-player groups. Accessible game mechanics enable anyone to grow the longest fingernails ever seen; to walk a tightrope across the Grand Canyon; or even eat a jumbo jet. But true skill and dedication will be required to compete at the highest level. The ultimate prize: you may see your name appear in the official Guinness World Records book!”

Calvin Tucker’s Redneck Jamboree

“Join the four families of Redneck County as they compete to see who can win the most bottle caps in a battle to become the greatest family of the county for a year. Not only will you get bragging rights, but you’ll also get the privilege to move in “The Big Trailer” where fabulous redneck luxuries await. Saddle up, partner, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

Championship Foosball

“Jump into the fast-paced action and fun of foosball in your own living room! Using motion-sensing technology in the Wii Remote™, Championship Foosball creates a realistic gaming experience so you will feel like you are playing at a real table! Create your own team of players and choose to play using official foosball rules or create custom rules to suit your game. Challenge your friends in 4-player action or rise throughout the ranks in single-player mode and play on a host of official tables designed in partnership with the International Table Soccer Federation.”

Ski & Shoot

“One of the most popular winter sports makes a realistic debut into the video game world! Create your character using the advanced creation system. Race against other skiers on beautiful wintery tracks under the shadow of snow-capped mountains. Tuck in on downhill sections to increase your speed. On the shooting range, line up your shot carefully and hold your breath as you fire to put your shot right where you want it. Train your athlete to compete at the highest level in the Pro League in Career Mode. Join with your friends and compete head-to-head in Multiplayer Mode. Take up the challenge through 15 different levels including four original venues!”

Editor’s Note: We assume “Ski and Shoot” is based on the biathlon, a Winter Olympics sport where participants ski down a certain distance before removing a rifle attached to their backs. They are given 5 shots at 5 targets. For every target they miss, they must ski a certain number of penatly laps. So that’s right, you’re not even shooting while skiing.

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About This Author: Amadeo Plaza

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